We get a lot of emails with stories, questions, and sometimes a little bit of both. So, let me make a point to extend my vast knowledge base to you by answering, as well as critiquing, your submissions with my glasses on the end of my nose, as I look down upon you. Once again, you’re welcome. – Tony
I was really excited to try out this barefoot running thing. My friend Amanda really has been talking it up. So I decided to give it a try… The other morning I put on some of my best cold gear before work and gave it a whirl.
So, now I’m a bit confused. I went barefoot running and froze my butt off. No socks, shoes, along with 10 degree weather sent me spinning down a cycling world of cataclysmic emotion. About 3 minutes in to the run I realized that I was running around the streets of New Haven in the middle of winter with no shoes and socks on!
By the time I got home my feet were numb and I had to ask my elderly neighbor Mrs. Flemming to help me up the stairs. I had to ask Mrs. Flemming, a 90 year-old great grandmother, to help “me” up the stairs! Has the world gone mad with these new trends or am I doing something wrong? Are you people crazy?! Is my friend Amanda a terrible friend that should have her arm trapped in a rock for 127 hours?!
Please answer my questions and I apologize for my angry banter.
Let’s see if I can help here…
Has the world gone mad with these new trends or am I doing something wrong? Either your friend Amanda has led you down a road of emotional turmoil or you didn’t stick around to hear all the facts.
You see, she is right about barefoot running being a good ol’ time, but I find it hard to believe she sent you out into the middle of winter with no socks on. Have you ever been to a mental institution? Stuck your tongue to the metal pole at recess because Jimmy told you to? Ate cat poop?
Are you people crazy?! Yes. Sometimes I wear socks on the outside of my shoes. <– Kidding. Do not do this, Kerry.
Is my friend Amanda a terrible friend that should have her arm trapped in a rock for 127 hours?! This is something for only you to determine. Amanda may be getting back at you for something you have done to her in the past. Have you ever had her kidnapped for the sake of fun? Told the waiter at Applebee’s that it was her birthday when it wasn’t? Threw away her pet rock?
Allow me to point you in the right direction and offer further advice.
Thanks! – Tony
*Don’t be sad. Kerry Oki isn’t real, but you are, so send your feedback or questions to email@example.com. I’ll answer you back here in the blog next week!